Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
