O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize