I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
