he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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