the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
