I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Let's paint friendship bongs
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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