Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
