Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize