OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
