my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I am one with the molecules
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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