I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
