btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
