ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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