plz talk dirty to me
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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