I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
