I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
