For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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