Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You need Xanax blowdarts
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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