We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize