Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
