if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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