just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
