Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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