I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
