im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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