i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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