She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
