Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
operation harelip BJ is a go
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
