Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
