while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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