this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
