I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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