You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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