at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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