with your own penis?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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