babies were throwing up all over the place
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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