His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
