Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
