do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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