I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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