i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
