Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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