She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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