I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
