Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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