Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
