i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
