About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
