Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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