WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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